Former sex offenders released into the community are probably the nearest parallel to the lepers of Jesus’ day, feared, reviled and shunned. Paedophilia seems to have become the unforgivable sin, with no biblical basis for this belief.
The stereotype offender is the psychopathic stranger opportunely preying on children, yet most child abusers are known family members or friends, some are women, and a third are young people. Victims and offenders may be members of the same church.
Many offenders are Christians who previously attended church for years and want to return. Some relied on their Christian conversion to immunize them against temptation, only to offend again.
‘Lost souls’ who become saved in the supportive environment of prison chaplaincy too often report receiving a subtle ‘get lost’ message when trying to join a church outside. When they fade away, sometimes the church’s response is that their faith could not have been genuine in the first place. Offenders who voice their complaint that church members discuss them behind their backs and judge or avoid them may be seen as troublemaking or shameless; more do what they perceive to be the decent thing and leave quietly.
Discerning whether anyone is sincerely repentant is not easy. Reports of offenders cynically targeting congregations in order to gain access to children have so frightened some church leaders that they are reluctant to consider admitting anyone with a record of sex offending. But a known offender in a closely monitored relationship with a church presents less risk than the estimated never-convicted 90 percent of offenders (the statistic quoted by the Lucy Faithfull Foundation, a charity working with young and adult abusers, victims and families), some of whom attend churches.
In its leaflet, ‘Help … a sex offender has joined my church,’ the Churches’ Child Protection Advisory Service (CCPAS) states: ‘The Christian church is unique in that, based on the uncompromising message of the gospel, it opens its doors to all… A significant number of sex offenders living in the community attend church.’
CCPAS responds to requests every week from churches for help and support in accepting offenders, but for every church that welcomes an offender, there are others that turn away. Some quote plausible reasons for doing so - regard for the sensitivities of former sex abuse victims in the church, danger to children, or pressure of other commitments. But is the Church ever justified in turning away a sinner who claims to be repentant and needs companionship on the journey to wholeness?
Alan Elson, Safeguarding Administrator for the Baptist Union, says, ‘People may be very nervous about the whole question and it does require a commitment of care and time. We recommend the church draws up an agreement with the person - we can help prepare a contract, and we refer churches to Richard Foot at Sanctuary (now part of CCPAS) for advice and support. If the church appoints befrienders and maintains frequent contact with the offender, it’s likely to be successful. But we can’t force churches to welcome an offender.’
A typical contract offers pastoral care and a place in the worshipping community, in return for the offender accepting supervision and certain restraints, such as being accompanied at services by church members, and refusing invitations to homes with children.
Not every offender presents the same risk. CCPAS can help churches carry out risk assessments, in conjunction with agencies such as MAPPA (Multi-Agency Public Protection Arrangements), which co-ordinates the work of prison, police, probation and social services. Under conditions of confidentiality, statutory agencies can disclose information to enable church leaders to assess the probable risk posed by the individual.
‘Police and other authorities are generally quite keen to engage with churches because, for many offenders, their faith and community help keep them stable,’ Simon Bass of CCPAS says. ‘It’s not impossible for most churches to make some provision for offenders to worship with other adult Christians. If an offender is regarded as high risk, it may narrow down the choice of church, but many have a Sunday evening service which children don’t attend, or a home group.’
Some churches already trying to minister to abuse victims quote the sensitivities of survivors as a reason for turning away offenders, and Alan Elson acknowledges this conflict. ‘It’s difficult to allocate time and sympathy to both perpetrators and victims - but it’s part of the Christian responsibility: we should try.’
It may not be necessary always to see perpetrators and victims as opposing categories, if both are trying to live the gospel. A support group for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse, asked for their reaction to their church admitting sex offenders, unanimously responded, ‘That’s what the Church is there for, and those are the people who need it. It has to let them in - but not let them go near any children.’
One added, ‘Or sit next to me,’ but another pointed out, ‘You never know who’s sitting next to you in church, and it shouldn’t make any difference!’ One woman said victims shouldn’t be in the same church as their abuser, but another who had been in that situation said, ‘It was the only time I felt safe. It reminded me that God knew all about him and would deal with him. I wanted him stopped but I didn’t want him destroyed.’
Some object that their church offers more support to abusers than to victims and their families. The appeal to be loyal to one group and reject another may force church leaders to consider how they handle other sources of serious hurt and conflict between church members - unfaithful or violent spouses, or perpetrators and victims of harmful gossip.
The case for a church deciding to focus on ministering only to one side or another becomes further blurred when an abuser is also a victim - of child abuse or of adult rape or violent attack in prison or vigilante attacks in their neighbourhood.
Adam Thorn (the pen-name of a convicted sex offender who has written a book about his Christian journey) says, ‘While it’s never an excuse for the sickening crimes committed, many sex offenders were abused themselves as children. Once the first offence is committed - mine was at age 12 - you’re an offender, eligible for the Sex Offender Treatment Programme but not for victim counseling.
‘Part of the SOTP is to act out being your victim, in front of a group that may include addicts of child pornography - whose fantasies can be fed by this role play. If you break down in tears it’s seen as progress, a sign of remorse, but it may be just being reminded of your own trauma. Up to the age of 50, I had nightmares about my abuse as a child.
‘Most offenders have trouble identifying with their victims’ feelings. They tend to see themselves as the victims. Changing behaviour requires retraining your thinking.’
He believes churches have a vital role to play in helping sex offenders to change - ‘more so than any existing cognitive or chemical therapies, important though they are. A loving, accepting church can be the first real healing.
‘My former pastor put himself on the line for me: I found out afterwards that he made my acceptance by the church a condition of him staying in that fellowship. He really stood up for me, at cost to himself. But not every church is prepared to take people like me. Accepting the despised into Christ’s Body, his Church, is something that Christians should want to do, not as a duty but out of love for God.
‘But churches shouldn’t be naïve. The practicalities of child protection have to be in place, with proper management programmes. Sex offenders should be accompanied at church services, though allowed to fellowship with other believers, and they shouldn’t go to church barbecues or outside events, where it’s too difficult to monitor them.’
Where a church already has good practices in child protection, admitting an ex-offender should not cause extra stress. For many churches, the problem is not the presence of a registered offender (or church members with unreported offences or hidden tendencies) but the church’s lax attitude to keeping children safe.
A children’s worker comments, ‘The church is careful about vetting the youth leader, children’s worker and volunteers, doing CRB checks and running child protection courses - then at the end of Sunday school, half the church tries to come through the door. Parents collect their children then let them run round unsupervised, while they chat over coffee. They don’t see the need to protect them.’
No wonder some ministers, already under stress, refuse to allow in their church adults who are honest about their history of offending. Yet acceptance by a supportive faith community is known to be a strong factor in preventing re-offending.
One method of caring for sex offenders in faith communities, with an excellent record of preventing re-offending, is the ‘Circles’ concept initiated in Canada by Mennonite pastor Harry Nigh in 1994.
He had been visiting a prisoner - ‘an unwanted child from a troublesome family’ - serving his fourth adult sentence for crimes against children. ‘The tragic irony was that no one ever a served a day for all the times that Charlie was sexually assaulted as a child in care,’ Harry wrote.
In the face of public outrage at Charlie’s eventual release, and personal fear that Charlie might re-offend, Harry and others formed the first ‘Circle of Support and Accountability.’
Each member met with Charlie once a week, helping him cope with everyday life and adjust damaged patterns of thinking and behaving. At the end of each week of non-offending, the whole Circle met to celebrate with him.
The Circles concept was extended to other offenders, attracted volunteers from all walks of life, and spread to Europe. It exists in various forms in the UK, including Sanctuary, and Circles - associated with the Lucy Faithfull Foundation, which also offers the Stop It Now! helpline for actual and potential abusers.
One UK pastor who accepted a convicted sex offender into his church recalls, ‘To me, it wasn’t up for debate whether we welcomed him. We set terms and quietly monitored whether he kept to them. He did. He kept away from kids, but came to house groups and contributed at prayer meetings.
‘He was being investigated at the time, for historical crimes, and I went to court with him. Details emerged, which were hard to listen to. There were things I wish he had told me but I understood that shame prevented him. His case became public and he was sent down. Some parents in church came to me and said, ‘We should have been told,’ but I felt the church leaders should be trusted to keep the situation safe.
‘I had never handled anything like this: in society’s eyes he had committed the worst crimes anyone could commit. But I prayed about it and continued to visit him in prison and, on his release on bail conditions, said he could come to evening services if no minors came.
‘I was dismayed to receive phone calls from Christians from other churches, telling me to “throw this evil man out.”
‘My viewpoint is, there has to be restoration somewhere along the line, or we are playing at being Christians. I understand what the world thinks about people like him, but if there is no way back for him, there is no way back for any of us.
‘The church didn’t always agree, but he attended until he left the area. It wasn’t safe for him living here. We went to pack up his flat and a crowd gathered. After we left, windows were broken and his car was vandalized.
‘His family members came looking for help too, and it was hard not to take sides. I felt a huge pressure off me when he moved away, not from him but from others. But I will always be glad to see him at house group. And I would do the same again.’
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First published in the Baptist Times, January 14, 2011
Reprinted with permission from the Baptist Times
www.ccpas.co.uk/Sanctuary or 0844 357 6573
Baptist Union 01235 517 719 www.baptist.org.uk/resources/safeguarding
Stop It Now! helpline 0808 1000 900 or This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
‘From Out of the Shadows’ www.lulu.com/adamthorn
www.clarenonhebel.com – Clare Nonhebel’s latest book is ‘Finding Oasis’, publ. Authentic
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